What kept me from blogging, and what I did about it. (Part 1)

Telling my story is something that I have wanted to do for some time. I excelled in writing during college; and, over the years, friends and family complimented me on my abilities. As a follower of Christ, I even felt a ‘calling’ to share my story and life experiences through writing. Even though I had all of these things encouraging and pushing me, I still resisted. Why?

I am going to share with you just a few factors that made me hesitate, and even resist, to the idea of sharing my story and blogging. Then, I am going to tell you what I did to overcome these obstacles and finally make progress. Maybe some of these reasons will resonate with you and a goal you have always wanted to reach but felt like you couldn’t.

Finding the time

I first thought seriously about writing while taking a college writing course. The professor asked if I had ever considered a career in writing. Though I gave it some thought, I came to the conclusion that I was a technical thinker, best suited for a career in IT, not a writer. I did think that writing could one day become a hobby. But, with classes, homework, and a social life taking up most of my time, writing was pretty low on the priority list.

Years later, as my career in web design blossomed, my time was filled with working and/or learning. When I was not actively building a website, I felt my time was best used to learn new trends and techniques. Just as in college, it was so easy for me to find other things to do than do what I felt in the back of my heart and mind I should do — write.

Even when the time tried to make itself available, laziness always found a way to manifest itself in the form of my next culprit, procrastination.

Procrastination

Despite years passing by, and a growing career, I continued to feel a growing desire to write. There were numerous times where I would get motivated and excited about blogging. So much effort was put towards planning, that I would begin to burn out. As feelings of burnout settled in, thoughts like “I’ll start tomorrow.”, or “It can wait”, began lurking in my mind. Before I knew it, my big plans for a blog were abandoned before they even got off the ground.

Deep down, I knew I needed to write. Every failed attempt was a blow to my self-confidence, and I began to wonder if ever would ever make serious progress. In turn, those feelings would ultimately come back to haunt me, and often give me even more reasons to procrastinate. I’ve found that procrastination is a vicious cycle that is often fueled by doubt and lack of self-confidence.

Doubt

When it comes things we feel compelled or ‘lead’ to do, doubt can be one of the strongest forms of resistance. It causes us to hesitate. This hesitation often leads to procrastination. And, well, we already know where procrastination has gotten me.

Having a childhood consisting of numerous surgeries, near-death occurrences, and the obstacles that come with growing up with dwarfism, I often was given the suggestion to use writing or speaking to tell my story. However, as I got older, I quickly realized that everyone has something they’ve been through or obstacles they face. So, that made me wonder, what makes me any different? I began to doubt my story and my ability to share it in a big way. Since that realization, I have hesitated to take the idea of using my story to ‘inspire’ seriously.

What I did about it …

In my next post, I’ll outline simple steps that I took to overcome the time constraints, procrastination, and feelings of inadequacy to get my blog launched.

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